Gen Z Guide to FI

I’m asking you for advice lol haha (please help). Just kidding (I’m not). The holidays are over and I placed myself in a situation where I was at home all day with my nuclear family unit (parents & brother) for 10 days. A recipe for disaster. Ok, I love my family but there has always been a few teaspoons of love in a melting pot of dysfunction and manipulation.

The one thing I am good at in my family dynamic is standing up for myself financially. My goal was always to become independent from my parents financially way before FIRE. A lot of it was due to growing up with parents that I felt were very controlling. It’s not like I do anything crazy with my money but even if I did, at least it is mine right? Anyway, so I had a very charged interaction with my father concerning a joint expense we had made. And I felt extremely frustrated because I don’t like anyone having control over my hard earned money. But it seemed (still seems) like there was some miscommunication (BS he was gaslighting me) about how the funds I contributed to the expense will be repaid.

Anyway, I spoke up for what we had initially agreed and I told myself to do whatever gave me peace. My therapist says that hyper-independence is a trauma response from feeling like you can’t rely on anyone. Which is one of the many reasons, I feel stressed on a regular basis. At least, I definitely know understand the source of the stress and why I am intensely pursuing FI after becoming financially independent from my parents.

The moral of the story here for my babes and homies in dysfunctional families:

• Don’t be gaslighted. Keep things in writing to prevent convenient “miscommunications” or “misunderstandings”.
• You have control of your own life. Say this in the mirror. Say it with your chest. You are great and you deserve to be at peace.
• Do not give your agency away.

With that bit of xoxo wisdom, I hope you can find some peace of mind and my heart is with you.