Gen Z Guide to FI

I am writing this on the night right before my GMAT exam because my actual physical diary is at home and I can’t find a pen lol. I have spent the last few months throwing away my sanity and health honestly to try and improve my GMAT score. Has it been worth it? Hell no.

In the grand scheme of my life, this exam is meaningless. A box I have to check to move on to the next big thing in my life. But why have I put so much pressure on myself that I’ve induced stress eczema and lost weight on it. It is the perfectionist mindset that more often has led me to greatness but in this case is tearing me apart. DAMN.

Anyway, I have learned a few things while taking a few days off prior to this exam.

The first is that nothing is worth NOT taking care of yourself for. The reason why I haven’t seen much improvement in my practice exams is stress and anxiety. The pressure is manifesting in physical ways. I have to give myself grace. I should see a doctor about this eczema though because wtf?

The second is go outside. I hate the outdoors. I am not a nature girl by any means. But I was definitely suffocated by the four walls of my apartment. In addition to the extreme isolation of not talking to friends and family since isolating is my coping mechanism for stress. But what did this lead to…just more time in my head to convince me that this exam is do or die. It really isn’t.

The third is to believe in myself. I have come so far with talents that I doubted in the last few months. Why am I struggling to believe in myself? Why is a bitch ass test like the GMAT enough to break me? It is not enough. It will take a lot more than failing a stupid test to break my inner strength & rifle my inner peace.

Lastly, the point of this whole journey which I seem to be forgetting is that I want to make movies (and be financially stable). There are 1 million and 1 ways to make powerful, transcendent movies. Getting an MBA is just the most financially lucrative way to accomplish this. The school that accepts me will see my story, charisma and zest for life. And if they don’t, I’ll make a new plan and then another one and then another one. So the summary is that it doesn’t matter if my score is bad or good, I will find a way because I always have.

Thank you to my friend A, for spending time with me yesterday. “It is what it is” – that’s the motto baby.

xoxo GenZ Fire Baby