Gen Z Guide to FI

I might need to say goodbye to the party life.

I’ve been thinking back to August 2022 when I began to feel the inclination that I was tired of this lifestyle. It was my close friend’s birthday. I didn’t want to drink because I needed to wake up early the next day. Instead, I waited sober in the club and played temple run until my friends were ready to leave. I’m weak in the knees because that is not the first time or the last time that I will use temple run to look busy.

The next experience was September after a concert. The streets were filled with hotties and all the clubs were full. My group of friends waited and waited. I was so annoyed at the situation. One thing I know about myself is that I despise waiting. I feel trapped. But of course situations like these call for patience i.e. because I’m staying with a friend and I can’t go home when I want. Should I just make copies of friends house keys? This is a serious question. Why the fuck is my tired ass in this line when I want to sleep. Sleep over dick any day.

That is when I stopped thinking of clubbing as fun. I like the dressing up and pregaming. Of course if the music is great, then I can have a great time but that’s a gamble. But on that day in September, all I wanted was sleep. 

A few weeks later in LA, it was the same story but a different day. I went to an my friend’s after hours event with her coworkers. I really really wanted to go home. The music was terrible and the vibes were worse but I was staying with my friend and she was also my ride. At the time, I wasn’t close enough to this friend to be like “I’m going home, peace out”. Only my closest friends understand how much sleep means to me and how annoyed I can get. One of the bartenders there literally told me to smile and have a good time. I got triggered. I was like why is this spot so dry? Or am I just dry? Maybe both.

Fast forward to January 2023, I went to another club in San Francisco with my friends. I think I had a pretty great time till my friends left me at the club (I’ll never let you forget lol). That experience was still probably one of my most fun ones. I could leave when I wanted. The music was vibes. The men were also vibes. But it felt so empty afterwards. I know I needed to let loose so it was helpful for that but the emptiness of having fun with guys I’m never going to see again was not vibes at all. 

In March, I had an epiphany. I went to a 2000s themed party in North Carolina. The music was popping but it was more professional so there was no getting freaky. The group wanted to go to a club after the party. When I got to the club, I sobered up. I wanted to sleep. I was literally in line for 30 mins but once I paid and got in, I was ready to leave. I started thinking “oh should I wait for my girl (a homie) who looks like she wants to party all night?” or “should I leave?”. I met my girl that morning but I was already feeling bad that I was ruining her vibe. Why was I worried about ruining her vibe? She wasn’t alone. There were other girls around and the group was pretty big. I called my Uber and went to sleep. It was a pretty refreshing experience.

This last straw was last month when I traveled to Canada. I was with my closest friends. We didn’t end up going out to party but the topic of partying was so stressful to me. I just wanted to vibe and stay anti-social but I also didn’t want to be a buzzkill. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves within myself – feeling like I’m ruining the fun for other people. I’m very particular in a lot of ways and I don’t like my friends compromising because I’m so particular. Just because I’m not enjoying myself doesn’t mean everyone should have a bad time. I ended up being silently awkward with my friends for a while because the plan wasn’t very foolproof. I’m a planner & an over thinker. I worry too much. I’m not an easygoing vibe and party person. I don’t want to party with strangers in a different country and have to take care of my friends who tend to be more unpredictable drunks. I also didn’t have the control of being like ok, I’ll just go home when I’m tired. Again, I need to make copies of my friends house keys moving forward. LOL but seriously.

I had a revelation on this trip though similar to March. One of my friends told me to smile while I was stressing out. She was drinking and she wanted me to be ok so there was no malice there. I said in my head that “maybe I should just stop this?”. Her telling me to smile felt like my mum hitting me or yelling at me to smile when I was younger for doing things or going places I wasn’t interested in. Some triggering memories came up – like having to pretend that I’m happy when I’m really not. I’m like this isn’t pleasant for me. This (my vibe) isn’t pleasant for my friends. Why am I trying so hard to make this a thing I enjoy? I can pregame with them and sleep lol. No one is making me party.

The summary is that I enjoy partying when I’m in control of when I can leave. Also, if I can blackout and depend on people to get me home alive, then I’m down for whatever. If I have my own hotel or space, then I can just leave and not feel like I’m ruining the vibe. I’ve spent the last few months overcompensating for losing ages 21-23 to COVID so maybe that’s why I’ve been trying so hard.

I will have to respectfully decline partying with my friends in the future. That might be awkward but something ‘fun’ shouldn’t stress me out this much. I can still go out for birthdays and special events so to all my friends reading, hit me up for those. I’m just not going to do it for vibes anymore.

Alright then, I’ll take one more shot for the end of my party girl era before bed tonight. It is time to embrace the get dressed, pre game with homies and sleep era.

xoxo GenZ Fire Baby