Gen Z Guide to FI

My Grandma turned 90 in January, and I went to Nigeria to celebrate her big birthday bash. My biggest takeaway was that she is still gorgeous and sexy at 90. She has also touched so many people’s lives.

For starters, allow me to rant about Nigeria. The country is a train wreck. A few days of living here can make anyone go insane. But that being said, the people make the country worth it. I have spent most of my life running away from anything related to Nigeria. Running from anything or anyone that reminds me of how I used to feel when I was in the teenage angst era circa the early-mid 2010s. But attending my Grandma’s 90th birthday has made me think about things differently.

Everyone my Grandma has ever met loves her, from her driver, who became her adopted son, to her housekeeper, who stopped working for her years ago but still visits her every month. Even her bratty granddaughter (me), who ‘hates’ (loves/hates) coming home, will still cough up $$$ in a heartbeat to come to Nigeria for 5 days to see her. For my FI enthusiasts – my flight cost $1326 roundtrip. I had no other expenses since I stayed with family. This trip made me appreciate the value of relationships.

Nigeria is a very relationship-based society. I’m speaking of Lagos where I grew up and not generalizing, although I think it’s similar in all parts of the country. For you to make any progress in your career, visa, health, school, etc, you have to know someone who knows someone. One thing I appreciate (most of the time) about living in the US is the individualism. I know most of my accomplishments were based on my hard work – not some rich relative or my parent’s connections. Not saying there’s anything wrong with accepting help from family but I take pride in knowing that I live the American Dream without knowing a damn soul when I first moved here.

Back to my Grandma’s party. It was legendary. Food was lit. Vibes were lit. I spent hours of the event trying to fix the 40 min documentary my mum made to encapsulate my Grandma’s life. We had several technical issues trying to show the documentary onto the big screen. I’ll spare the boring details but those issues got my brother and I stuck in a small room with the audio visual team for more than half of the party. In this small room working with some very talented audio visual staff, I thanked God for letting me leave Nigeria. Everything was a major hassle because the WiFi wasn’t working, the electricity was going in and out and the backup generator was not kicking in. These are all day to day problems that can make anyone go crazy because you have no control over ‘basic’ things that I now take for granted living abroad.

I know that family and community in Nigeria are a big deal, and some days, like my GMA’s birthday, I see the hype. Despite all the aunties criticizing everyone and the relatives I didn’t know, who claimed to know me as a baby (and proceeded to take awkward photos with me), I was touched by the effort to show up and show out for this 90-year-old woman’s birthday party. There wasn’t a single family member & close family friend that wasn’t running around trying to make sure the event was flawless (this is including the event planners and their staff). It is days like that that make me remember I’m not alone in this world. There are many people who care about my well being.

My Grandma had a great time, and I’m hoping that party will convince her to stick around for a 100-year-old birthday bash.

On a random side note, I also want to talk about my internet Grandma – a 93-year-old influencer called Grandma Droniak. She slays while her enemies lay. I love her content. It’s amazing to see the elderly having no care in the world. I need to age into that part of my personality – because I want to get to that point where no fucks are given. The time when you know what makes you happy and you live for it. There’s nothing you can’t do just because it hasn’t been done or isn’t the standard path.

To my Grandma & my internet Grandma, I love you. Thank you Grandma for always loving me and feeding me and caring about my random ‘problems’.

XOXO Gen Z Fire Baby